And why you’ll want to stay far away

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The mystery surrounding every narcissistic person is what made them that way? This often brings out the curiosity and empathy of people attracted to a narcissist. They view the narcissist as a puzzle to solve with a wonderful prize at the end. They imagine a lover who will eventually reciprocate their affections if they just do and say the right things, but sadly, this scenario is only a fantasy. No matter how kind you are or how much love you think you have, you will never have enough to help the narcissist.

A response to those against trans bathrooms

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President Biden recently reversed a Trump policy by signing an executive order to combat discrimination on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation. It didn’t take long for people to complain that the new law is erasing girls. But let’s review what the order actually says:

“Every person should be treated with respect and dignity and should be able to live without fear, no matter who they are or whom they love. Children should be able to learn without worrying about whether they will be denied access to the restroom, the locker…

Even After You’ve Gone No Contact

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Tori was tired of being followed by Sean. She tried to tell him she was married, but he kept showing up when she went out for coffee with a friend. He mysteriously appeared in the produce aisle when she went grocery shopping. And then there were the phone calls that she refuses to answer, but even though she refused verbal contact with him, she felt unnerved every time she saw him. She knew his showing up at the same place that she was over and over was not a coincidence.

Tori didn’t know if…

But You Can Change That

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When Nina finally went “No Contact” with the narcissist, she couldn't wait to move on with her life. No more bullying, gaslighting, or walking on eggshells. Her nightmare was finally over — except she kept hearing the narc’s voice in the back of her mind.

She was surprised to discover how much she’d been relying on the narcissist to “guide” her. She’d gotten so used to letting her partner make all the decisions that she froze up every time she had to make a decision by herself.

When she went on a date, the narc’s…

They Might Surprise You

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You’re at a party and someone catches your eye from across the room. They make their way through the crowd and before you know it, you’re engaged in an interesting conversation. This person is friendly, charming, good looking, and seems to know just what to say. They might even compliment you. It feels good to make this connection. You agree to meet up next week for a drink or coffee or even dinner. You say goodnight and have sweet dreams — not realizing you’ve just been targeted by a narcissist.

It’s hard to recognize a narcissist…

Are They Made of Stupidity, Lies, or Trickery?

Photo by Jose Ros Photo on Unsplash

They say stupid is, as stupid does, but is every flying monkey low on brain cells and deceived by the narcissist? It would sure be nice if we had a blood test so we could determine who is a narcissist and who isn’t. It would also help to be able to tell a true flying monkey from those who are just plain confused.

Origin of the Term

The term “flying monkey” comes from the Oz books by L. Frank Baum. Oz became famous in 1939 when the movie The Wizard of Oz became a big hit…

And Why She Lets Him

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Chloe is one of the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. She goes far out of her way to help other women when she knows they’re having a rough time. She volunteers at a soup kitchen and women’s shelter. Most people think of her as confident and talented and they would never imagine that she’s married to a narcissist. She doesn’t complain very often, but every few months, she calls me to talk about the latest insane episode with her husband.

Chloe has kicked her husband out of the house before but he’s also locked…

Should You Answer?

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The house is quiet. You open the window for some contact with the outside world, but the air is still and there’s not a car in sight. Sigh. You can hear the birds singing and it’s lovely, but you crave human connection. Life in the time of coronavirus seems to have come to a standstill. You wonder when things will ever get back to normal, but mostly you wonder if you’ll ever get to see your friends again.

You search through Netflix for something that resembles your social life before the pandemic when your phone vibrates. Startled…

Family Hell in the Age of the Coronavirus

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There’s only one thing worse than living with your parents — and that’s living with a narcissistic parent. Let’s face it, nobody should live with their parents after they grow up. It’s only natural to want your own space so you can make avocado toast at 3:00 am. For anyone stuck at home with a narc parent during these days of isolation, here are a few tips.

This is not a prison sentence even though it feels like it.

This time of isolation can be a good time to make art or…

Even When You Don’t Want Their Help

Photo by Quentin billington on Unsplash

If you think of the typical narcissist as hateful, vengeful and hell-bent on destroying other people’s lives, you might be right. But not all narcissists stare into the mirror all day — some spend their time trying to fix other people. Heroes in their own mind, these self-proclaimed prophets of help and healing will offer solutions for whatever ails you — whether you want or not.

If they won’t listen when you say, “I’m not interested,” if they won’t stop talking when you say, “I’m late for my meeting,” if they lack empathy…

Cherilyn Christen Clough

Smashing the Patriarchy, Narcissism and Religious Abuse one story at a time...Author of CHASING EDEN: A MEMOIR

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